Love is Patient

1 Corinthians 13:4a

As Christians, we are called to actively pursue love for God and neighbor, and allow the Holy Spirit to convict us of ways in which we are not loving. We are given an entire chapter of 1 Corinthians that speaks of the attributes of love. The first attribute given to us is “patient.”

Lately, I have become more aware of my own lack of patience. At the risk of making myself vulnerable, I will give a recent example of just how easily irritated I can be. A loved one was trying to help me with my laundry and accidentally shrunk my favorite pair of my pants. While I tried to act like it was no big deal, I got really upset about it. Although not to the person’s face (probably to save my own face more than theirs), I completely overreacted. After a roughly fifteen minute period of private ventilation, I eventually found a way to resolve the problem, searching the internet and discovering that you can soak cotton clothing in a hair conditioner + water solution and gently pull at the fabric, restoring it to its original size. This is going to sound really dumb, but while I worked at the pants in the sink, I had to listen to a calming podcast to bring myself back down to earth. In my irrational irritation and impatience, I had elevated myself above this other person, making myself believe that this was a grave error that I could never possibly make. I thought that I was some kind of superhuman, and undeserving of such unfair treatment. I gradually became aware of the impatient attitude and lack of love in my heart. Then, although I still didn’t feel it, I had to verbalize to the other person that “It’s really no big deal. They’re just pants.”

They are just pants.

Impatience screams, “Come on! Get it together already. This is a life and death matter and you are not taking it seriously enough.” Patience says, “It’s okay. I will fix the pants. This is no life and death matter, and the issue is resolvable. I am in no hurry.”

Impatience values oneself and one’s situation over the other person. In doing so, impatience does not have time to love.

Patience places the dignity of the other person above the necessity of one’s own comfort or agenda. Patience loves without rushing.

Although Jesus only lived thirty-three years of earthly life, He lived and loved as if He had all the time in the world. When Jesus was twelve-years-old, He went missing for three days in the major city of Jerusalem because He was teaching the Scriptures in the Temple. When His anxious parents finally found Him, He displayed His lack of hurry by asking them, “Why were you searching for me?...Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” (Luke 2:49). And instead of growing frustrated or impatient with them for misunderstanding Him, he then “went down to Nazareth and was obedient to them” (Luke 2:51).

Once, when He was an adult, “people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them.” While the disciples “rebuked them” (Matthew 19:13), believing that Jesus had more important things to do, Jesus did not mind this interruption to His day. In fact, He even encouraged it, declaring,  “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (v. 14). Jesus showed that these humble children were worth all of His time and blessing.

Finally, when actually faced with a life and death matter, Jesus was patient unto death. While He had every reason to get in a hurry and run for His life, He did no such thing. He patiently took all of their mocking words and slashing bodily injuries. “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth” (Isaiah 53:7). Although He could have pleaded the dignity of His life over this unjust death, He completely set aside His personal agenda and the rest of the time he could have had left to live. He was patient with sinners even when it cost Him everything.

Jesus had no agenda other than welcoming, forgiving, and dying for sinners. How much more gracious should I be towards the daily annoyances! How can I love as Christ did when I get so impatient towards people about things that don’t even matter? How can I ever give everything for love when I am so concerned about the minute details of my little world? How can I be patient with people when I over value things so meaningless as a pair of pants?

Dear Lord Jesus, through the words of the Apostle Paul, You tell us that the first step to love is patience. Holy Spirit, help me to let go of my idols such as my time, energy, and material blessings. But most of all, help me to let go of the idol of self, as all of these stem from this one idol. Make me patient with people, regardless of whether their offenses against me are legitimate or not. Help me to release the mental image of how my life should go, and learn to welcome interruptions, such as soaking a pair of pants in the sink. Let me take joy in practicing patience with people and circumstances. Do in me what only You can do. I know this will take time, and I am in no hurry. In the Name of our ever-patient Savior, Amen.